I saw an ad that said "Tapping lessons"
Read it as "Fapping lessons"
I want to tell you, I have self diagnosed myself with these things:
MPD (The one that has none of them, and the one that has the all of them.)
Glossophobia (Public speaking)
Haphephobia (Being touched :S(AAAAAAH))
Fear of driving (driving)
Sedatephobia & Myctophobia (Dark and quiet)(Only at the same time)(I sleep with the TV on :S)
Melissophobia (THE BEES!-N. Cage)
Aichmophobia (teath)(jk. Sharp things (maybe teeth?))
Ophthalmophobia (Staring) (Siriusly. Dude. Stop it.)
Bananaphobia (Jk. I love bananas. But this is real...(wtf))
Ochophobia (Vehicles(especially loud and fast ones.)
I am also paranoid. I might not even have any of these.
Here's common phobias I DO NOT have!
Trypanophobia (Injections (because idgaf))
Cynophobia (Dogs(I love animals.(If I got attacked by a dog, I would be afraid of THAT dog. lol.)))
Triskaidekaphobia (13(I have discovered that Friday the 13th is just like any other day. Except for the retards that run around screaming "IT'S FRIDAY THE 13th! THE WORLD'S GONNA END!"
Story of my life:
Athaz: "Did you study?" "What?" "You have a test today." "I do?" "You forgot, didn't you?" "No I didn't I------" -Rolls on floor-
Ochophobia: I have been in about 3 car accidents in my life. 2 of which was when My brother was driving. 1 of which was when my dad was driving. My dad has hit
A bunch of deer
1 wild boar
and 1 chubracabra (jk)
and no. That car he hit them with is no longer functioning.
I have seen 2 car accidents.
Shiny glass... Flashing lights...
Running red lights is bad
especially when you bring a motorcycle to a semi-truck fight.
Bananaphobia: Who tf is afraid of bananas?
If you have this
I feel sorry for you.
Trypanophobia: I never had a problem with needles.
Unless they pull down my pants.
Then I throw a fit.
Acro: Do not pretend to throw your kids off of
It will traumatize them.
Sedate & Mycto: If I turn off the TV, The room gets smaller, and the darkness and silence slowly chokes me until I pass out. I usually have disturbing dreams that relate to this. Sharks and meerkats eating my friends, bloody boxes with severed hands in them, slipping on butter and faceplanting in a campfire, dogs eating each other. Cats hiding bodyparts under my bed. Tornadoes. Tornadoes everywhere. F'ed up Tim Burton shiz.
Skrillex eating my goldfish
The woman drowned. I went to go tell my mom. She came back. The pool was gone.
Byatch broke into my house. I hit him with a byatchfork. But he got back up and promptly threw me out the window.
Princess bubblegum! We have to save the gummy bears from the evil queen. Quickly! THROW VITAMINS AT HER!!
Now I'm remembering all my nightmares. I can't go to sleep. It's 5 am. I hate myself.